What Matthew Sees

We're just about finished with our major remodeling project. The kitchen actually has been done for weeks but because we changed flooring in the lower level we also decided to spruce up the place with fresh paint. That's been my project of late. And I'm almost done.

In the meantime, I was searching for some pictures to print and hang in the bathroom when I ran across some of Matthew's work. I didn't remember seeing these before. Who knows when he shot them...sometimes he's stealthy. I know I've shared some of his pictures before but I thought you'd appreciate his unique perspective.

Matthew does not see the world quite the same as you and I might. You know the saying, "Can't see the forest for the trees?" That's Matthew. Just like when he works puzzles he puts them together in groups and then finally fits it all together. Me, on the other hand, I always start with the border and work my way in... It's just how we are.

So here you go:

Yes, it's a rope. It's a fence keeping us off the grass.

I don't even recognize this house! But look close at the TV, it's the Ninja Turtles movie!

Dining Room Table and Chairs...but, no, look closer...see that white cat paw? That's Spunky hiding under the table.

Beloved AG Bear who apparently needed to rest on the pillow.

I don't know...was he watching Walker, Texas Ranger?

View from the back seat.

Sure, a favorite movie.

And yes, a drink ready to be poured into a cup.

I do believe this is a very close up shot of  Mr. Incredible.

Another TV show... I recognize Batman in the background.

I think we're looking at Harry Potter. Do we have this movie?

Kitchen Redo

It started a while back. But last year, with so much time spent sitting looking at things (and especially, watching the Do It Yourself channel) I began telling Bob it was time for some updates to our house. Actually, it was a simple project. I wanted to replace the guest bathroom cabinet and sink and then paint the room. A cinch, right? Not so easy at our house. If I changed the cabinet the surrounding tile would need to be repaired or replaced. And the tile goes from the bathroom, into the family room and up the stairs into the kitchen. Could I just do one room? I think not.

Okay, so we agreed that the tile could be updated. Yes, it still was in pretty good shape, but it was dated. But if we were going to change the tile shouldn't we talk about replacing the kitchen cabinets. After all, the house is 20 years old... So, the cabinets should come out. Well, if we're really going to do that then shouldn't we replace the pantry that we've long talked about and change it to a style with pull out shelves?

Thus began the Kitchen Redo. We first went out six months ago and found some cabinets we liked but then came home and looked at how much preparation work would be involved... Days turned into weeks, then months and we were still talking. Poor Bob works hard enough during the week. He just couldn't get excited about the prospects of all his weekend time consumed with remodeling. (Originally, I wanted to put in all the cabinets myself--after all, it looks pretty reasonable on those half hour project shows...)

Then one day Bob mentioned that he wanted a new truck. And I noticed when we were driving by the new truck dealers he would sigh and gaze longingly at the shiny 4x4's.

There goes my kitchen money...and I began to whine and complain that I would never get my kitchen...a truck... I'll admit, there might have even been a tear that I had to wipe away as I went on and on. I might have even played on the "Woe is me...I had chemo..." angle. So yes, that softy of a husband then told me he didn't really mean he wanted a new now. Of course, we were going to do the kitchen work first.

Taken just as Bob decided that he could easily access the attic
and so this would be the best time to replace the lights too :)
Gotta love him!

So here we are actually with removal of the cabinets scheduled for next week. The new cabinets, sink and what not are supposed to only take five days and then the tile will be here the following week.  You'd think I'd be happy...and I am...(ecstatic actually)...But I did mention yesterday, "Would it be too much, to get the bathroom cabinet too?"

I Have A Child With Special Needs

Okay, yes, he is now a young adult.  And it's not a bragging point.  But, if anyone asks I tell them my child has special needs.  Like many of my friends who have special needs children we work every day on greeting others in a proper fashion and acting appropriately in public.

Not every family is this way.  Years ago I worked with a gal who had three children.  I had met a couple of the kids but not all.  One day I was organizing a shower for another coworker and this gal stopped by early to drop off her gift.  I noticed kids in the car and invited her in.  She was taken aback and looked worried.  No, the kids could not come in.  One of her children was handicapped and she didn't want me to see him.

Really?  I was surprised.  The matter passed but the moment has stayed with me. Who could be so embarrassed by their child that they would hide him?  Haven't we moved past those dark ages?

Today, I have a child who has special needs and I've learned there are few things in life that are cut and dry.  

But, I've learned not to be embarrassed at Matthew's uniqueness.  Oh, that's not to say I am not "embarrassed" by him... things happen... like the time we were helping with dress rehearsal for a performance that included my daughter and my nonverbal son decided he was sick and barfed all over everything...the seats, the aisle, the kids (with horror struck eyes).  Yes, there have been plenty of times.  But as I think about it there were times when I was embarrassed by both kids.  I told Rebecca I was going to write this and she reminded me of the "stone throwing incident."   She must have been 5 or 6 when we went to our favorite restaurant for dinner.  There was going to be a short wait so we sat in the lobby that had an old fountain in the center.  For whatever reason the fountain was filled with rocks.  And for a completely unknown reason my lovely, perfect children decided to throw the rocks.  I scolded them but they continued until I gave them the ultimatum: "If I see you throw another rock we are leaving!"  Wouldn't you know, one of them threw another rock.  Well, what could I do?  Strangers were watching and I had to be consistent in my parenting so we marched out of there.  I was embarrassed.  Rebecca tells me she was embarrassed.  Poor Bob asked meekly in the car if we couldn't stop at McDonalds to pick up something to eat...

Those with children I'm sure will agree that all kids manage to embarrass their parents on occasion.  There is also no doubt that a special needs adult doing something inappropriate is less tolerated by the public than if it were a child.  We have some real challenges.  So sometimes, maybe more often than we should, our family chooses not to participate in certain activities because our child will stand out.  That said, I do hope one thing I have taught Rebecca is not to be embarrassed because her brother has special needs.

That Which We Cannot Have

Have you ever been told you cannot have something? Crazily, it's all you think about. I remember being pregnant and told not to eat spicy food. Suddenly, all I wanted to eat was chips and salsa, enchiladas, fajitas. It was horrible. I thought about it all the time. Finally, after the baby was born I was able to satisfy my craving at our favorite Mexican restaurant.

Not so for Matthew. Before lunch wrapped in a tortilla became chic Matthew was Mr. Tortilla Man. He loved anything in a tortilla. I was reminded of it last night. Years ago he was diagnosed with Celiac Disease. It's a condition that prevents the small intestine from properly absorbing certain foods, in particular those with gluten (wheat, rye, barley). If one eats the offending foods the intestines become damaged causing all kinds of long term problems. The only treatment is total avoidance of these foods. For most people this diet change is a shock and difficult. For someone with autism and challenges with reasoning it's even worse.

When we started a gluten free life over ten years ago there were few palatable choices. Bread tasted like cardboard, cookies were blegh, and the alternate flour choices were terribly grainy. It was tough. But worse was how I felt for poor Matthew. Bob and I could sneak a sandwich or enjoy a piece of cake on occasion. Matthew could not. When we would find the occasional good tasting gluten free food Matthew would do one of two things: he would eat it all in one sitting (if possible) or he would hoard and hide it. We learned to avoid the bread aisles in the store but on sometimes he would pass the bakery, walk over to the shelves and run his hand over the wrapped bread and sigh. He missed it so much.

The good news is that over the years a gluten free diet has become more popular. Today even Betty Crocker makes cookie and cake mixes. The bread we buy is now tasty and soft and makes a good sandwich. Even great tasting donuts are now available. In addition, over the years I have gotten smarter, finding better, finer ground rice flour and more options for the starches we mix to make good tasting treats. Matthew is happy. Lots of options to choose from. He loves shopping at his favorite grocery store and always comes home with a choice treat. You would think all is well and the past forgotten.

But last night we visited a favorite Mexican chicken restaurant. I like it because the chicken is roasted and we have a good choice of gluten free sides from which to choose.  A popular way to eat is to pull some chicken off the bone, add fresh salsa and roll it up in a tortilla. These guys offer fresh and soft corn tortillas as an option that we always get. I asked Matthew if he wanted his chicken in a tortilla and was surprised when he said no. He loves the tortillas. Being mom I made one up anyway and of course, he gobbled it up as usual. But when I asked him if he wanted a second one he again said no and put his hand over the bag holding the tortillas. I realized then, that he wanted to save the tortilla for later. In his mind he was back to those days when could only look longingly at the bread in the store. I finally convinced him that there were plenty of tortillas and he wrapped his up, keeping one hand on them while he ate the rest of his dinner.

Cheese crisp lunch and some leftovers! Yum!

Today we pulled the day old tortillas out of the refrigerator. They now look and feel just like the corn tortillas I buy at the grocery store. But to Matthew they are special. Because they are no longer soft and pliable we made cheese crisps and added leftover coleslaw and beans. You might not be impressed, but Matthew is. And he loves that he can have this special lunch.

Vincas

Today I planted some Vincas in my front yard. They are pretty, sun loving, flowering plants that thrive in the hot summer here. It's been a long time since I have planted them. As I put them in the ground I was reminded of the last time we grew Vincas. It wasn't actually for me but for Rebecca.

One afternoon Rebecca was helping me water the plants. "What would happen if I used something besides plain water?" she asked. We decided it would make a great science project so she excitedly went to school to ask her teacher about doing something for the spring science fair. Unfortunately, the teacher had to tell her that second graders were too young to be invited to participate. But, undeterred, she decided to do her own project.

We bought Vinca (mostly because I knew they would grow well) and Rebecca set up her experiment. The years have faded my memory but I remember she used coffee, diet coke, bottled water and something like soapy water. She set up the parameters and researched what she would need to do to find out what measurements she needed to take and how to eliminate extra variables.

It was a fun experiment. I remember being surprised which plant grew the most. After six weeks or so she put together all her data, wrote up a report and made a display. I expect Rebecca can tell you exactly how it all turned out.

Through the project she learned lots. But I learned more. I learned that, given the opportunity, children can be excited to learn.  It was during this time we realized that through homeschooling we could present both kids the chance to learn at their own speed and there would be extra time to focus on things of interest. I also learned that, far greater than the experiment, we enjoyed spending time together and kids are fun to be around.  Learning could be a true family affair.

So as I plant my Vincas I remember back. Today Rebecca finished her third year at the university and during this next month she is applying to medical school. She still has a love of learning and continues to be excited about new opportunities.

Earth Day :)

Since today is Earth Day I want to share our recent "good for the environment" project.  Followers may recall that a while back I was trying to convince Bob to dismantle the swing set. It had served a good purpose and the kids loved playing on it for many years. But time to move on. So Bob took it all apart and we discovered that the redwood was still in very good shape...even all these years later. What to do with it?

Watching those DIY (Do It Yourself) shows finally paid off and I convinced Bob that we could cut up the 4x4's and make a raised bed garden. If you want details, like measurements and how it all fit together you'll have to ask Bob. My job was to sand 20 years of green paint off the boards after they were cut. In any case, Bob came up with a plan and I expect when he was young he played with Lincoln Logs because the pieces all went together just like he planned.  After the first box was finished we (meaning he) dug out the grass, leveled the ground and set it in place. I did help hold the weed barrier while he stapled it in place. It was easy to then fill with dirt and mulch and add some vegetables.

In fact, it turned out to be so good looking we decided to make a second box. But we were short wood to complete it.  We talked about buying more redwood but the whole idea was to recycle and reuse. Then Bob checked out Home Depot. In their cut wood section were a whole stack of 4x4's that had been 12ft but someone had them cut to 8ft. (Don't ask me why, it didn't make any sense to me either...) But the 4ft sections were exactly what he was looking for and were a whopping .50 each!  Okay, so technically it maybe was not recycling but we were not letting them go to waste by using them. Keeping with my save the environment theme we found a guy close by who was changing his landscaping and getting rid of dirt. When it turned out to be too filled with grass we used it anyway to fill in some low spots in the lawn. Don't ask me where we ended up getting our dirt. I can't tell you...but it was recycled. I also discovered seeds from my last garden attempts (they were dated 1996!).  The Swiss chard from back then is actually growing!


The first box is filled with cauliflower, assorted leaf lettuce, carrots, and tomatoes.  Box number two is Matthew's favorite watermelons and cantaloupe plus garlic and green peppers. I think we were too early for Arizona summer gardening and too late for winter gardening but we have already had a number of salads, that included radishes, tomatoes and even beet greens.  If you are not sure you're up for a garden but have kids I really recommend throwing some radish seeds into a pot. In less than a month they are ready to eat and they are so pretty.

Below you can see the final product.  Not sure whether we will attempt to grow anything (other than the melons that are just peaking up through the dirt now) during the hot summer but as soon as it cools down we have a whole list of things to grow.  My mom used to talk about the Victory Gardens grown during WWII.  In our case, it might be more appropriate to say that it's a Victory It's a Garden! 

A Special Palm Sunday

I joined Rebecca for Palm Sunday services in Mesa. The church had palm fronds everywhere and began with a big processional. It reminded me of a very special Palm Sunday we experienced a few years ago...

For Rebecca's graduation we planned a fun trip to Germany, France and Switzerland. Schedules worked out so that we could go during  her spring break from school. I diligently planned our route and reserved hotels for each night. I printed out town information, directions and when available, pictures of the hotels. It was a good plan but...

At the coast of Normandy we got caught up in the WWII history and spent extra time at the museum and beaches. We were reminded of all the history and mourned the loss of so many brave troops. By the time we were ready to leave it was already dusk. Bob stopped at a gas station but for some reason it wouldn't take his VISA card.It was not a worry as we still had plenty of gas. Over the river and through the dale we went, following the map to the next town. By the time we got there it was dark so we decided to stop at the McDonald's and see if someone could help with finding our hotel. Fortunately, a young gal working there spoke good English. She looked at the information and gave us some quick directions. "Just five minutes," she said. "Up the hill, around the corner, center of town, etc."  Off we went. Up the hill, around the corner, center of town... No hotel. So we tried again, thinking we'd missed a turn. No hotel. (Mind you we had already discovered that hotels in Europe aren't nearly as obvious as those in the US.) But, there we were in the center of town, Patton Square, and there was a pay phone. (Cell phones with international chips were not yet in vogue.) Unfortunately, the pay phone did not take money and I did not have whatever it took. What to do... Since we were in the center of town there was a small restaurant across the way. I went in to ask for more directions. Between my poor French and the guy's poor English I thought we had it figured out.  Straight down the road and around the corner. Again, we searched and again, no hotel. Around and around we went. And it got later and later. Suffice it to say it was pretty quiet in the car. Finally, enough nonsense and we went back down the hill to the McDonald's. Even though it was now late that young girl was still working (no one else spoke English!) But more than the hotel at this point Bob was very worried about getting fuel for the car. We could keep searching if we had a full tank. Asked the girl where the closest gas station was, "Just down the road... 5 minutes," she guaranteed us.

We got back on the highway and I confess to being near tears. The kids were silent. After leaving the McDonald's it was pitch black. We were most definitely in the country. The miles ticked by and it seemed like an eternity but... in 5 minutes there they were, lights of a town. And, what was that on the left? It looked like the sign for a Holiday Inn. Big, neon green and oval. It looked like a hotel. And look, across the street a grocery store and gas station. We pulled in to the parking lot exhausted. There was an automated pay machine and we were able to choose a family room that would have enough beds for all. It didn't matter, we would have slept on the floor at that point. The other hotel, now far from our minds we quickly settled in to sleep.

The next morning Bob got up and ran across the street to fill up the car. We were headed to Mont St. Michel, an island abbey, in the bay. But he was back too quickly. The darn credit card didn't work and the gas station was closed. Bob had stopped and tried to talk to the clerk in the lobby but only found out that it was Sunday. So we both went back to the lobby. The clerk said, "I already told you. C'est dimanche! (It's Sunday!) Quelle dommage! (Too bad). The stores aren't open. This is France!" (The guy said some other stuff... I think he said we were stupid Americans but it didn't matter... Sunday was Sunday.) So we talked about our options. We could stay at the hotel and twiddle our thumbs all day. (I had packed enough snacks that we would get by.) Or, we could test my French further and try to find someone who could help us.  There were a number of people eating breakfast in the dining area. For whatever reason I focused on a young man with his daughter. To our good fortune,  he spoke English but not only that he misunderstood our question and got his wallet out to give us gas money. After we explained about the credit card he understood and then explained to us, that because our card was not from France many automated machines would not take it. The card had to be okayed by the operator. He was from Ireland and had a credit card but was not sure whether it would work. Still, he offered to go with Bob back over to the gas station and left his daughter with me. My guess is Bob and I are not very scary looking people but still, what faith in humanity. In a few minutes they were back with a full tank of gas. Bob gave him cash and our everlasting thanks then we rejoined the kids to give them the good news. Our day was going to be great!

In a few minutes we were packed up headed for the abbey. It is a unique tourist spot with lots of tiny shops. One of the shops advertised galettes which are a French crepe often made with buckwheat flour instead of wheat. Sure enough their's was naturally gluten free which, of course, thrilled Matthew. After eating we stepped outside just in time to see people lining the tiny narrow street. It was Palm Sunday and the church goers were in a processional headed up to the abbey for services. They carried palm fronds and we were handed copies of the processional hymns they were singing. What a chance for us to stop and reflect on the Lord's Providence. Had we not gone through all the ordeal we probably would not have been there for the service. It was a great opportunity to stop and thank God, not only for watching over us but for sending His Son to save us.

We learned a few things and the rest of the trip were smarter. Kept the gas tank full and located the hotels before dark. Good thing because when I printed directions to the hotel in Lucerne, I mistakenly printed directions to the center of the city instead... Sprechen sie Deutsch???